8 Lies They Told You About Menopause

Hey you.

Yeah, you. The one who stared into the full fridge last night and couldn't figure out what to eat, then burst into tears for no reason. The one who woke up at 3 AM drenched in sweat, heart pounding, convinced something was terribly wrong. The one who snapped at your partner or your kid over something tiny and then spent the rest of the night hating yourself for it.

Ever have one of those moments where you look in the mirror and think, "Who is this person? Where did I go?"

I see you. I've been you.

For so long, we’ve been told a story about this chapter of our lives. It’s a story written by people who have no idea what it feels like to have your own body declare war on you. It’s a story full of whispers, dismissals, and outright lies designed to make us feel small, invisible, and crazy.

Well, I’m done with that story. I’m here to take that book of lies, douse it in gasoline, and light a match.

Let’s talk about the garbage they’ve been feeding us.

Lie #1: "Just Push Through It."

This is the lie they tell the strong women. The ones who juggle everything, who have always been reliable. They see you’re struggling and throw a platitude at you, as if this is just another tough day at the office. Pushing through a hormonal shift of this magnitude is like trying to push a car with flat tires up a mountain. You’ll only exhaust and break yourself.

The Truth: You don't need more grit; you need a new map. Your body isn't failing you; it's asking for a different kind of support. This isn't about willpower; it's about biology.

Lie #2: "It's Just a Few Hot Flashes."

This lie makes me see red. It's the ultimate minimization of what we go through. It's not just hot flashes. It's the heart palpitations that feel like a panic attack. It's the itchy skin, the brittle nails, the hair falling out, the sudden dizziness, the feeling that you have a UTI when you don’t. It’s a thousand weird, unsettling symptoms that make you feel like your body is completely alien.

The Truth: Menopause is a full-body event. It’s a seismic shift in your hormonal operating system, and pretending it’s just about temperature control is insulting.

Lie #3: "It’s All in Your Head."

This is the gaslighter’s favorite. When you talk about the crushing anxiety that comes out of nowhere, the dark clouds of depression, the rage that bubbles up over nothing, they look at you with pity and suggest a therapist. While therapy is a wonderful tool, this isn't a personality flaw.

The Truth: Your brain is swimming in a different chemical soup than it was a few years ago. Estrogen plays a huge role in regulating mood chemicals like serotonin. When it disappears, your brain is literally trying to recalibrate. You're not "making it up"; you're having a real physiological response.

Lie #4: "Your Sex Life is Over."

Let's just go there, shall we? This is the lie whispered in hushed tones that fills so many of us with dread and shame. The desert-dry vagina, the libido that packed its bags and left without a forwarding address, the feeling of being completely disconnected from your own sensuality. They want us to believe that desire and pleasure are only for the young.

The Truth: It’s bull****. Yes, things change. Lower estrogen can cause dryness and lower your sex drive. But this is a solvable problem. There are amazing solutions, from modern moisturizers and lubricants to hormone therapies that can bring your tissues and your libido back to life. Your sexuality doesn't have an expiration date.

Lie #5: "The Weight Gain is Inevitable."

Ugh. This one is brutal. You’re eating the same, you’re exercising the same (or even more), and yet suddenly you have this stubborn ring of fat around your middle that will not budge. You feel puffy, bloated, and betrayed by your own metabolism.

The Truth: Your metabolism is changing, and your body is more sensitive to stress and certain foods. What worked at 35 won't work at 50. But "inevitable" is a lie. It just means you need a new strategy—one that focuses on hormone balance, muscle mass, and fighting inflammation, not just counting calories.

Lie #6: "You're Too Young for That."

For my sisters in their late 30s and early 40s—this one’s for you. You go to the doctor with a list of symptoms—insomnia, anxiety, weird periods, brain fog—and you get patted on the head and told you're too young for menopause. You leave feeling defeated and wondering if you really are just crazy.

The Truth: Perimenopause, the 7-10 year runway to menopause, can start as early as your mid-30s. Your symptoms are real, they are valid, and you deserve to be heard, not dismissed because of your birthdate.

Lie #7: "Hormone Therapy Will Give You Cancer."

This is the big one. The fear that has kept millions of women suffering needlessly. It's based on one flawed, outdated study from over 20 years ago that used a type of hormone we don’t even prescribe much anymore.

The Truth: For most healthy women, modern, body-identical hormone therapy is safe. The risks are very small—far smaller than the risks associated with obesity, smoking, or drinking alcohol—and the benefits can be life-changing. It can protect your bones, your heart, and your brain, all while giving you your life back. It’s a medical decision you should be able to make with facts, not fear.

Lie #8: "This is Just What Getting Older Feels Like."

This might be the saddest lie of all, because it’s the one that makes us give up. It’s the lie of resignation. We’re told that feeling exhausted, achy, foggy, and passionless is just the price of admission for being over 50. We’re supposed to accept this slow fade into the background.

The Truth: It does not have to feel this way. Feeling vibrant, sharp, strong, and joyful is absolutely possible in your 50s, 60s, and beyond. This isn't the beginning of the end; it's an invitation to a new beginning, one where you finally have the wisdom to stop caring about the small stuff and the power to build a life that is authentically yours.

So, Where Do We Go From Here?

I know. This is a lot. Reading this might feel overwhelming, or infuriating, or maybe for the first time, it might make you feel seen.

Yes, I’m a menopause scientist, but more importantly, I’m a woman who got tired of the lies and decided to go find the truth for myself and for all of us. I fight because you deserve better.

We all do.

You don’t have to figure this all out alone. Your first step isn't to read a thousand books or go down a million Google rabbit holes. It’s just to get the right, personalized support in your hands.

That's why I poured all my research into creating menoQ. It’s an app that puts a menopause expert right in your pocket. It gives you simple, 3-minute daily tips based on real science, all personalized to your unique symptoms and goals.

It's your private, confidential playbook. A tool to help you start feeling like yourself again.

Because the woman you were isn’t gone. She’s just waiting for you to come find her.

With you in the fight,

Professor Kay